Mum-Mum
I can't quite bring myself to believe she's gone. I keep expecting to wake up and everything be fine. I feel like I'm in some - twilight zone bubble. This is all just some horrible dream.
She was admitted to the hospital two weeks ago, when someone noticed her skin was yellow.
She was diagnosed with cancer: a tumor was growing in her bile duct.
But first she had a problem with her heart- one of her arteries was too narrow. Soon as they opened her up, though, her blood pressure started dropping like a stone. So they had to close her up again and wait it out until they could operate.
In the meantime, though, she finally got tired of medicine. In and out of the hospital so many times, she was finally fed up with being connected to tubes and wires. She didn't want to live like that anymore.
Two days later, she died.
I kept expecting to wake up from this nightmare.
When you grow up, you begin to understand death, and you know it has to come to us all.
You just never quite expect it to happen to those you love most.
Mom keeps saying that she's probably playing with our dog now.
Whenever Mum-mum came over, the dog would always "talk" to her. It was this kind of sound, almost like a human rolling their tongue. If you're a dog owner, and your dog "talks", you know what I mean.
Well, Mom says that maybe now when the dog talks, Mum-mum will be able to understand her.
My uncle, at the service, said that he believes that we regain our youth when we go to Heaven. Who knows if it's true? But I believe the same.
Now Mum-mum is young again, and more beautiful than any of her pictures ever made her, and with renewed vigor, she's playing with all the animals she knew in life, and socializing with all the friends and family who went before her. In between, she'll be looking down, and cheering us on at every small achievement, and every littlest happiness.
She'll always be with us, until we're ready to go to her.
Connie
2008-05-14 at 11:15 p.m.
/
Previously
2008-10-01: I'm not dead!!
2008-07-16: o_o
2008-06-23: Mourning . . .
2008-05-14: Mum-Mum
2008-04-03: The. Fuck.
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